to let the world know... a small fragment of the world know, what's been on my mind... So here it goes. People, some people, are so fuckin' annoying... Maybe it's me and my perception of things, I am not going to name names due to privacy purposes and in about a year's time, maybe even a few days time, these feelings will no longer be present in my BEing, or perhaps not as potent! Yet I feel the need to confess, to convey, to express myself and that is, when someone sends you a message, via facebook, online emails, a letter, anything... return the line of communication back to them, so the circle is complete. Even if it's just to say, "I have received your message I will respond later (* giving a time frame may be helpful)". Simple, yes? I think so.
How come courtesy seems to be lost in this regard then? I seriously do not get it!
Understandable that everyone has their life and not everyone has time like others, like myself, to sit down and write a message out in response to someone else,' yet c'mon... Please! :)
This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves in fact! I am respectful and I value my friendships, the people I communicate with... This apparently, seems to be a rarity and one in which I have yet to, both understand and accept. Maybe I need to surrender to whatever is and let things be as they are! :)
Given advances in technology, one can learn when someone has viewed a message, so it becomes a nuisance to know that someone has seen your contact with them, yet does not respond.
Oh well, whatever the will of the Universe is.
Monday, 8 June 2015
Monday, 1 June 2015
The title is the hardest part
Okay, I am going to just come right out and say it, spill the beans... hahahaha. I feel fuckin'' trapped. In my skin, in my bones, my flesh and in this fuckin' city. I wanna just take a car and drive, take a plane and fly, the train and ride, away from here. I would like to BE. To go and be on the land, with my Earth Mother, build a life near the beautiful Atlantic Ocean and start living.
I feel trapped today. Trapped into this never-ending cycle of wake, walk, ride, eat, shit, sleep, connect, etc and do it all over again..
Everyone seems to be moving on and I feel I ought to too. Start building, creating the life I would like to lead, instead of feeling stuck where I am and feeling like I am not getting, nor going anywhere.... K is no longer doing her shows, some good friends of mine are going to be moving in a few months.... and some others that I seem to just be getting to know, are also moving... everyone is moving on to bigger and better things for themselves and those in their lives.... It makes sense that instead of being left in the dust that I go and do my own thing too.
I feel trapped today. Trapped into this never-ending cycle of wake, walk, ride, eat, shit, sleep, connect, etc and do it all over again..
Everyone seems to be moving on and I feel I ought to too. Start building, creating the life I would like to lead, instead of feeling stuck where I am and feeling like I am not getting, nor going anywhere.... K is no longer doing her shows, some good friends of mine are going to be moving in a few months.... and some others that I seem to just be getting to know, are also moving... everyone is moving on to bigger and better things for themselves and those in their lives.... It makes sense that instead of being left in the dust that I go and do my own thing too.
Saturday, 30 May 2015
What a fuckin' day!
Hi Universe!
I am fuckin' angry... Why? because I didn't make any sales today... I know, stupid yes?
Why do you have to give me days like this? Seriously? Yes, it's all learning and yes, it's all growing and there are endless fuckin' lessons, but can I just totally check out for a day? ... I think I am going to do exactly this, tomorrow and the next day, I need to take a ME day, just not do anything. Nothing fuckin' at all!
I know it's not about the money, but about creating and letting the creation flow. Honestly, it does get tiring when I make things and nobody, not yet is interested in liberating them, I would like to attract abundance to me and I already have plenty of it... I am abundant in living in the space I am, having food on the table, in the fridge, a bed to sleep in, people, a family that cares about me, an operable mind, two legs, two hands, two feet, eyes, a nose, a beautiful human form... I got a lot to be grateful for, but why oh why Universe, days like these can just go to hell! I understand this is all for me and not to me. But I still can't feel anything but angry... because I feel I am doing great things and when I don't make sales, it feels like it's all for nothing, not getting recognized, not appreciated, nothing... what are you trying to tell me Universe? Should I not be doing what I am doing? What does not making sales mean?
I need a hug.... Since mama bear is not home, I guess I'll seek it out elsewhere!
I am fuckin' angry... Why? because I didn't make any sales today... I know, stupid yes?
Why do you have to give me days like this? Seriously? Yes, it's all learning and yes, it's all growing and there are endless fuckin' lessons, but can I just totally check out for a day? ... I think I am going to do exactly this, tomorrow and the next day, I need to take a ME day, just not do anything. Nothing fuckin' at all!
I know it's not about the money, but about creating and letting the creation flow. Honestly, it does get tiring when I make things and nobody, not yet is interested in liberating them, I would like to attract abundance to me and I already have plenty of it... I am abundant in living in the space I am, having food on the table, in the fridge, a bed to sleep in, people, a family that cares about me, an operable mind, two legs, two hands, two feet, eyes, a nose, a beautiful human form... I got a lot to be grateful for, but why oh why Universe, days like these can just go to hell! I understand this is all for me and not to me. But I still can't feel anything but angry... because I feel I am doing great things and when I don't make sales, it feels like it's all for nothing, not getting recognized, not appreciated, nothing... what are you trying to tell me Universe? Should I not be doing what I am doing? What does not making sales mean?
I need a hug.... Since mama bear is not home, I guess I'll seek it out elsewhere!
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
Thoughts for the day
Someone not too long ago told me I would fall in Love with a fair-haired man... Needless to say I am now bias toward fair-haired guys... This morning I went to go buy a muffin for my breakfast at this Italian Cafe/Eatery up the street from where I live. The individual who served me was none other than a fair-haired man... I will add, he had a tattoo on his left forearm. HOT! Tattoos on men is a weakness of mine, admittedly... I have a bird tattoo on my chest and I just love it and love them in general. I think for everyone who has, there is a meaning behind their tattoo and it adds to the story that we are writing for ourSelves. I find this absolutely irresistible and rather interesting.
Anyways, I realized, as I tipped him $ .85 for placing a muffin into a bag and for cashing out my business transaction, which is his job, that I need to actually start putting myself FIRST. Instead of paying for something and then over tipping (helping someone else out) on my credit card, mind you... Always thinking of scraping money together for others without first considering my current financial situation.
Money right now is flowing to me in abundance. That is all I will say.
Even later today I intend on spending 5 bucks on books, which in a way is pocket change. Five bucks is 5 bucks, but I think of it as money that could otherwise be put toward a payment on my credit card. I don't really need the books... Perhaps, I do on some level... But I am doing it because the content sounds interesting and as though it would be enriching. I am also doing it to help my friend out.
This morning, I didn't need that muffin either. But then again, maybe I did, on some level. Or maybe it wasn't about the muffin at all, but about me learning this very lesson to which I am sitting here, writing about... Maybe it was even about the guy... Who knows?
I got together with a friend yesterday and she was sharing with me that I need to stop living from ego. Apparently my desire to have a relationship has lead me down that path. I don't know what to say about it. I can't deny that's true. I don't desire a simple physical relationship.... I need something that is fulfilling and meaningful on all levels, something that with enrich the totality of my life as a two-legged, which very much includes the essence that is my Soul and Spirit.
This friend also shared that I need to be who I wish to attract... that one is a stop everything and think, thought-provoker...
Anyways, I realized, as I tipped him $ .85 for placing a muffin into a bag and for cashing out my business transaction, which is his job, that I need to actually start putting myself FIRST. Instead of paying for something and then over tipping (helping someone else out) on my credit card, mind you... Always thinking of scraping money together for others without first considering my current financial situation.
Money right now is flowing to me in abundance. That is all I will say.
Even later today I intend on spending 5 bucks on books, which in a way is pocket change. Five bucks is 5 bucks, but I think of it as money that could otherwise be put toward a payment on my credit card. I don't really need the books... Perhaps, I do on some level... But I am doing it because the content sounds interesting and as though it would be enriching. I am also doing it to help my friend out.
This morning, I didn't need that muffin either. But then again, maybe I did, on some level. Or maybe it wasn't about the muffin at all, but about me learning this very lesson to which I am sitting here, writing about... Maybe it was even about the guy... Who knows?
I got together with a friend yesterday and she was sharing with me that I need to stop living from ego. Apparently my desire to have a relationship has lead me down that path. I don't know what to say about it. I can't deny that's true. I don't desire a simple physical relationship.... I need something that is fulfilling and meaningful on all levels, something that with enrich the totality of my life as a two-legged, which very much includes the essence that is my Soul and Spirit.
This friend also shared that I need to be who I wish to attract... that one is a stop everything and think, thought-provoker...
Sunday, 10 May 2015
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.
Wow, it's nearly been a month since my last post. I wish I was more consistent writing here. Although there are things that I understand that need to be privately written about instead of sharing on a blog. In spite of the fact that you may or may not know those that read what you write because no one decides to comment... which is okay... to each their own! :)
So, for half of April and half of May, I was actually recovering from some sort of cold virus that was going around and had me sick for three weeks... This is probably the very first week I am starting to feel back to 100%...
And this wonderful thing that I have also been aiming to work on has been my healing package... My sister gifted me with this a few years back and it has helped me learn and grow evermore about myself. Particularly, toward a place of self-love and acceptance, which I am still very much learning to do and which is something that is also a lot more challenging, than it reads.
Basically, there are darknesses inside each of us that either make us feel cruddy, sad, mad, angry, envious; ultimately, "unloveable"; all the feelings we wish away. Yet the lesson behind each of those is important and accepting them as key components to one's Nature holds value. Yes, jealousy is an evil that can be seen as such - It is a consuming emotion that harbours hatred toward one's fellow wo/man, as opposed to love and it is always, only, ever about LOVE. Plus why waste good energy on showing, feeling jealous, when one can move passed those feelings and love that other Soul that helped their evolution along. It's such a process. Really it is and I am certainly learning each day, with new experiences and new interactions about myself, my emotional body, my shadow (as the darkness is often referred), Spirit and Soul and this EarthWalk we call Life.
In addition, to the two aforementioned activity and Ill-ness having presented themselves in my life. I have also been busy with arranging to have a business website created by the lovely graphic designer & photographer that has been a part of my lives for-ever.
ANd it is officially online and I do intend to share it here in a few days. However, there have to be some tweaks made.
In speaking of my business and growth and learning. Yesterday I was vending at a Sale at the Native Centre. I really like those Sales and it is often a hit or miss. Yesterday I made some money and more than that I met some incredible people!
I also learned to shut my big mouth. Sometimes I feel like an idiot when I divulge too much FREE information without wanting to. I know I most certainly am not an idiot, because being open and trusting people too easily is something that is a part of my Nature. I cannot see how trusting people is a bad thing. Insofar as I need to trust the right people and trust needs to be earned. Usually Spirit and Soul guides me to the release of information that, at the time, I feel appropriate in sharing. It's also conditioning I have about sharing information too openly.... Funnily enough as I was typing the word "idiot", I was misspelling it it; "idoita", "iodit". Not purposefully, although perhaps it was on a subconscious level, as the way in which I was spelling it made me recall back to my childhood when daddy dearest would say, "idiota de merda". The translation of that is "idiot of shit", which comes off as something rather distasteful for a parent to say to one's child.
I don't blame him. And this is one of the many instances to which I write about in my Healing Package. As it has caused me to develop feelings of inner discontent with myself, at times. Or, has repercussioned off, into me feeling something else at a different time. Life is all about Healing... once one recognizes that... one is set for life!!!
So, what happened yesterday was something that I will likely write about on my business blog. Yet I will mention in passing here... that just because a question is asked does not mean one has to give the answer. I have a right to share what I want with those posing questions to me... I have a right to refuse to answer, politely of course. Yesterday was a case in point and something out of nothing. I am making it into a mountain, when it was only intended to be a mole-hill. A saying borrowed from my sister... for now, I'll let sleeping dogs lay.
So, for half of April and half of May, I was actually recovering from some sort of cold virus that was going around and had me sick for three weeks... This is probably the very first week I am starting to feel back to 100%...
And this wonderful thing that I have also been aiming to work on has been my healing package... My sister gifted me with this a few years back and it has helped me learn and grow evermore about myself. Particularly, toward a place of self-love and acceptance, which I am still very much learning to do and which is something that is also a lot more challenging, than it reads.
Basically, there are darknesses inside each of us that either make us feel cruddy, sad, mad, angry, envious; ultimately, "unloveable"; all the feelings we wish away. Yet the lesson behind each of those is important and accepting them as key components to one's Nature holds value. Yes, jealousy is an evil that can be seen as such - It is a consuming emotion that harbours hatred toward one's fellow wo/man, as opposed to love and it is always, only, ever about LOVE. Plus why waste good energy on showing, feeling jealous, when one can move passed those feelings and love that other Soul that helped their evolution along. It's such a process. Really it is and I am certainly learning each day, with new experiences and new interactions about myself, my emotional body, my shadow (as the darkness is often referred), Spirit and Soul and this EarthWalk we call Life.
In addition, to the two aforementioned activity and Ill-ness having presented themselves in my life. I have also been busy with arranging to have a business website created by the lovely graphic designer & photographer that has been a part of my lives for-ever.
ANd it is officially online and I do intend to share it here in a few days. However, there have to be some tweaks made.
In speaking of my business and growth and learning. Yesterday I was vending at a Sale at the Native Centre. I really like those Sales and it is often a hit or miss. Yesterday I made some money and more than that I met some incredible people!
I also learned to shut my big mouth. Sometimes I feel like an idiot when I divulge too much FREE information without wanting to. I know I most certainly am not an idiot, because being open and trusting people too easily is something that is a part of my Nature. I cannot see how trusting people is a bad thing. Insofar as I need to trust the right people and trust needs to be earned. Usually Spirit and Soul guides me to the release of information that, at the time, I feel appropriate in sharing. It's also conditioning I have about sharing information too openly.... Funnily enough as I was typing the word "idiot", I was misspelling it it; "idoita", "iodit". Not purposefully, although perhaps it was on a subconscious level, as the way in which I was spelling it made me recall back to my childhood when daddy dearest would say, "idiota de merda". The translation of that is "idiot of shit", which comes off as something rather distasteful for a parent to say to one's child.
I don't blame him. And this is one of the many instances to which I write about in my Healing Package. As it has caused me to develop feelings of inner discontent with myself, at times. Or, has repercussioned off, into me feeling something else at a different time. Life is all about Healing... once one recognizes that... one is set for life!!!
So, what happened yesterday was something that I will likely write about on my business blog. Yet I will mention in passing here... that just because a question is asked does not mean one has to give the answer. I have a right to share what I want with those posing questions to me... I have a right to refuse to answer, politely of course. Yesterday was a case in point and something out of nothing. I am making it into a mountain, when it was only intended to be a mole-hill. A saying borrowed from my sister... for now, I'll let sleeping dogs lay.
Saturday, 11 April 2015
Changes in the way of Money
So, it has come to my recent attention through the loving words of a Beautiful Soul and a good friend, whom I adore that my prices on my DreamCatchers are too low. I wanted to come here and share that there are going to be some price adjustments.
One of the biggest challenges that I have come to discover is... how do you put a price on art? How do you put a price on something you love doing? Something you so ardently, so gracefully wish to share with others? It's hard because Spirit works on the level of LOVE, not money but in this crazy dog-eat-dog world one needs to make a living.
At my second show there was a gorgeous Soul that came to my booth and was like, "How can something so pretty, be so cheap?" I didn't know her, I don't know where she was on her path but she was the kind of person I felt like hugging- her energy, her vibration absolutely loving. I told her of the origin stories that go with each Peace (piece). She seemed so on-board with that idea.
On that particular day I was selling a DreamCatcher without an origin story, which I feel she wanted because it was one of the lower-priced ones. She wanted one with a story and ended up liberating one of my favourites. I have a lot of favourites, they are my babies.
That was that and that should've been my first clue.
The second clue came yesterday when someone was taken by my DreamCatchers at my friends booth, at the yoga show here in Toronto. She needed to be convinced to buy it. Usually, they decide. I don't like to persuade someone to buy something that is Spiritual... it needs to be from their heart not from my words of enticement. Anyways, the one that sold. Was my favourite one that went out on display and I; well, I was having a lot of trouble accepting that it left without saying good-bye...
The circumstances were totally bonkers too because I had just walked by my friends booth and decided to walk away since it appeared my friend was busy making a sale. Only moments later did I learn that she was busy with the sale of my DreamCatcher. And when I came back my friend told me that my prices are far too low for all that goes into them. She told me she had said to the customer that she was getting a steal.
In the past my friend has influenced me. I am not going to lie. Yet, who of us can say we haven't been influenced by others? Those closest to us? She is older, wiser, beautiful. I am wise, I am an old Soul and I am beautiful too.
This time around her influence was different. She influenced me to the point of me feeling guilty that my prices were so low, guilty because of feeling like I have done something "wrong". These last two points are things that have arisen given the work I am doing with my Self and childhood patterns that need not exist in my BEing any longer. A tale for another time.
So after feeling so horrible about that last exchange. I have realized that my friend is right on target! There is so much thought, feeling, energy and LOVE vibration that goes into each of my pieces. There's no denying that.
I need to honour my time, my energy, my art of creating... ALL OF IT. I feel as though I am in fact dishonouring myself when my prices are so low. Especially since I need to cover my own labour costs, and costs for materials. Thus, changes in prices are in the works.
One of the biggest challenges that I have come to discover is... how do you put a price on art? How do you put a price on something you love doing? Something you so ardently, so gracefully wish to share with others? It's hard because Spirit works on the level of LOVE, not money but in this crazy dog-eat-dog world one needs to make a living.
At my second show there was a gorgeous Soul that came to my booth and was like, "How can something so pretty, be so cheap?" I didn't know her, I don't know where she was on her path but she was the kind of person I felt like hugging- her energy, her vibration absolutely loving. I told her of the origin stories that go with each Peace (piece). She seemed so on-board with that idea.
On that particular day I was selling a DreamCatcher without an origin story, which I feel she wanted because it was one of the lower-priced ones. She wanted one with a story and ended up liberating one of my favourites. I have a lot of favourites, they are my babies.
That was that and that should've been my first clue.
The second clue came yesterday when someone was taken by my DreamCatchers at my friends booth, at the yoga show here in Toronto. She needed to be convinced to buy it. Usually, they decide. I don't like to persuade someone to buy something that is Spiritual... it needs to be from their heart not from my words of enticement. Anyways, the one that sold. Was my favourite one that went out on display and I; well, I was having a lot of trouble accepting that it left without saying good-bye...
The circumstances were totally bonkers too because I had just walked by my friends booth and decided to walk away since it appeared my friend was busy making a sale. Only moments later did I learn that she was busy with the sale of my DreamCatcher. And when I came back my friend told me that my prices are far too low for all that goes into them. She told me she had said to the customer that she was getting a steal.
In the past my friend has influenced me. I am not going to lie. Yet, who of us can say we haven't been influenced by others? Those closest to us? She is older, wiser, beautiful. I am wise, I am an old Soul and I am beautiful too.
This time around her influence was different. She influenced me to the point of me feeling guilty that my prices were so low, guilty because of feeling like I have done something "wrong". These last two points are things that have arisen given the work I am doing with my Self and childhood patterns that need not exist in my BEing any longer. A tale for another time.
So after feeling so horrible about that last exchange. I have realized that my friend is right on target! There is so much thought, feeling, energy and LOVE vibration that goes into each of my pieces. There's no denying that.
I need to honour my time, my energy, my art of creating... ALL OF IT. I feel as though I am in fact dishonouring myself when my prices are so low. Especially since I need to cover my own labour costs, and costs for materials. Thus, changes in prices are in the works.
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
Kickstarting the Dream
Hey,
So I am back if only to announce the exciting news of being on the world wide web, in a HUGE, HUGE WAY!
I've been getting organized with myself as a business owner and have decided to seek funding from a site called kickstarter. So the following is a link to my page, my project, my business and my life....
PLease be kind, gentle and loving.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/832217523/dreamcatcher-society
So I am back if only to announce the exciting news of being on the world wide web, in a HUGE, HUGE WAY!
I've been getting organized with myself as a business owner and have decided to seek funding from a site called kickstarter. So the following is a link to my page, my project, my business and my life....
PLease be kind, gentle and loving.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/832217523/dreamcatcher-society
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