Being your own boss is..... ROCKS!

So, I've thought about this one long and hard... no sexual innuendos please!

There are so many reasons why being your own boss is great. Here are some of my reasons as I take steps toward sole proprietorship.

1.) You get to set your own hours, which means late mornings- one can sleep in until 11 (yes please!), late nights - one can work until 2am, this is mostly if you have a creativity stream going and things are flowing through you and need their time to flow, early mornings- one can start as soon as they wake up, if they wish, several days of your choosing, off, in a row can be had- one can take a road trip, or take some time to enjoy Nature; bike trails, creature teachers, the wonderful woRks that Mother Earth has to offer! BLISS!

2.) You can work in your home office... at home in your pj's sipping coffee or tea in your favourite mug, while listening to your favourite music... whatever that may be. AWESOME!

3.) All the money, time, energy, effort, all go toward you and your business. This means that if you have a problem, you make a decision to fix it, oneself. POWER!

4.) Since you are your own boss you have the power, to control what you can about your business. You are in charge and that feels pretty darn incredible! :) HAPPINESS!

5.) The interview is eliminated; the nervousness one feels during the spontaneous asking of questions that best qualify you for the position you are applying for is not present, therefore one can feel more at ease. LIGHT!

I realize that I am creating the space currently for myself in moving forward in achieving this endeavour, yet these are key points that I felt needed to be shared, as they have been on my mind lately.

A hinge of jealousy....

Okay I'm jealous of you. I thought those feelings were gone, but seems they keep on reappearing to teach me something. First of all, things seem to come fairly easily to you. That's fine, we each have a different life story. However, this is something that bothers me. Perhaps, because I am certain I could have things come to me easily too. It's all a part of my manifestation capabilities. Yet, when I see how much "fun" it is you're having, where it is you are, making money in doing something that currently resonates with you. I like to see you happy, I do. But and this one has been coming up to me in other relationships too, is that I would like to be happy FIRST and stay there.... this is competitive mind-body thinking and it can be controlled if I would like it to be. Sometimes I allow ("bad") thoughts to run wild and it's not exactly the smartest thing. I need to sit with these feelings a little bit.... I could say, "it feels like I'm stuck", "I'm struggling to align myself with things that sing to my heart and soul (this one is partially true, but more so I am able to do things in the realm of hobbies, nothing, as of yet to help sustain me in living in a city)", yet saying anyone of these things will make it become reality. After all, we create our reality and mine, is one that I'd prefer to have these feelings dealt with, in order to continue along my path.

If I look into this further I can ask why do I feel the need to compete against you. We are both on different plains. No comparison is necessary to begin at attempting to comprehend this. You are intellectual and while that is a tremendous gift, I live differently. I understand and accept these differences. My competitive nature has come forward quite a bit in my life and has launched me... probably... I'd like to say, ahead in many areas and aspects, but ultimately it has lead me here, in going deeper and delving into the root reason behind why I feel the need to compete against others... the reason, can be found in my childhood... I am aware I do this continually, although I try not to... and in truth, the only person I compete against daily, is the person I was yesterday.

So, while you are doing your own thing and I appreciate your contribution toward the world and how you are being of service, by planting trees. You are you, and I am me.

You, all you are is a memory, a passing thought that I refuse to give life to! Although... how harmful would it be if I did.

Today for the first time in a really long time, I thought about you and all because of a song that played on the playlist at my work. It made me smile, to remember you, yet sad, somewhat, at the thought of what happened between the two of us. We were, are, wonderful individually, and probably would've been together, yet things didn't work out and there are no should'ves, could'ves, would'ves. There is... it, nothing else.

I am so tempted to look you up online. There are a number of people who remind me of you in my present life and I love that but at the same time, while I am sitting here, drinking a soda (I NEVER drink soda!), typing these words, I am thinking of you.  Do I even cross your mind? And if not, why am I allowing you to have this power of thought over me, especially when, bottom line, you treated me in the way you did?!? It makes no sense! A thought crossed my mind today as I was thinking of you and that was... why did you choose her over me? What was it about me that was so completely unappealing to you? And then I caught myself... why am I thinking detrimentally.... why? why? why? It absolutely makes no sense!!!!!!! After all, I deserve someone that will treat me like the goddess I am and someone that will place me as number one, not second to someone else (with the possible exception of themselves) and I will achieve that I believe it and believe in the benevolence of this great Universe!

I don't know, you name it!

Last night I went out. I haven't in forever! It was a reunion/welcome back party type event. It was good. Usually in groups, it takes me a while to really open up.  Especially since it was more of a sit down and chat kind of venue. I have to feel comfortable first. Last night is a case in point and not like I needed to really justify or explain myself, because I am going through a lot of changes in my life and generally no explanations are ever needed, but I shared this with our special guest. It felt strange to be sitting there and feel more comfortable with one-on-one interactions. The expectations I have of myself are fairly high, and I need to constantly be reminded to be gentle, it does no one good esp. yourself to be hard on yourself.

Anyways I have a confession to make that I am only willing to make here, in the safety of my own blog... I used to work with someone whom I adored, and I still adore. He sat next to me. It felt great! However, he is and has been involved in a relationship for a while now.... a solid 6-7 years. And I am not the type of person to share feelings with someone in the chance that they would end up leaving me in the least desirable position, especially given one's current partnership. I respect him enough to know that he is happy and that makes me feel good. Sure, part of me wishes it was with me, but we're all growing up and growing apart and thats okay. With him there was always a sense of comfort because it was easy to talk to him and we got along great. Last night was an exception to that because it was my first social gathering in a long time and I'm adjusting to that... If I did it on a regular basis it would be totally different, but I felt all round awkward.... but again gentleness is good! And awkwardness, even better! :)