So I am in Prince Edward Island and have been for the past , almost week... I am coming up to six days here today, Monday.
And upon physical trip travelling one would like to meet and connect with the right kind of friendly, nice people that one needs to meet while visiting said location.
I am a sweetheart. I am as nice to people I am meeting for the first time, as I possibly can be and I try to be as helpful as posssible, given the circumstance. Kindness it is in my DNA.
I am staying at the hostel in CHarlottetown and it is wonderful. I have already met some pretty incredible people and some mainly ONE, really uncomfortably-feeling type person. I know that things are present if you give them energy. And equally, everyone along your path is to have met you, either for their self-growth and healing, or for your self growth and healing, But, this person is difficult to shake... There is actually something really powerfully negative there. Not saying that it is fully bad, necessarily it is just something that he would have to work on....Anyways.
I am an attractive female. Since my trip I have received the googly eye on-looker-stare down that basically summates what males think of me physically.... This person is no exception. He is staying at the same hostel as I am and has given me several compliment-remarks. Being ins such proximity is in part what makes me feel so uneasy. Thank goodness he is leaving tonight because he makes me very uncomfortable.
Here is how the story goes....
Since I am so nice and try to be helpful and more so KIND than anything else, I knew that he had left to go out camping around the Brackley Beach area and was coming back for a night, I set aside a 2$ coupon for him to save upon his final stay here at the hostel. You know because I do have plenty of them and therefore would like to get rid of them, but also because I thought it would be a nice gesture.....WEll, guess what! BIG MISTAKE.
Not only do some males prefer not to get help, but I felt as though he was downright offended when he found out it was me.... because the positive, you are-so-attractive, kind of attention he was giving to me was switched to a bitterness and a seeming hatred that I felt very cold. You know.... of all the philosophies that teach to not takes things personally and to let things go and just be the kind, loving, caring person that ever human being needs to be, this interaction stopped me DEAD in my tracks because it was behaviour and an attitude that I did not feel good about. IN fact, it was one that I was not expecting. And that is the other thing about life and philosophies, NO EXCEPTIONS is best. When one walks into something with expectation that is setting up for disappointment right there. Not all the time I am sure, but it definitely throws you threw a loop when things turn out differently than from what you were anticipating. Even the good kind of different can still be pretty striking.
In any case that is that. This happened yesterday and the reason I guess I am still thinking about it is because I simply cannot shake off the feelings I have, surrounding the experience until I vent, so this is what this is for me write now (hahaha get it)... ventalation that is allowing me to breathe.
It was also difficult for me not to be hurt from his dismissal of my kindness because I semi-went out of my way to do something nice for someone, out of the goodness of my heart and it got turned away. Granted, some people do not have to be all receptive and can, within their right decline a gesture of good heart, but it is always best, I find anyway to be completely open-minded about it and to accept help when given, even if you are a man and that sometimes is a hard thing to do. Especially in order to maintain the matcho exterior and the I-can-figure-things-out-on-my-own-because-I-am-a-man mentality. Judgement free zone, but the latter comment is simply from experience.
I feel lighter already. Amazing sharing!
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