Friendship... what is it worth?

Tonight I friend of mine sent me a message. I deleted her from my phone so I didn't know who it was, I asked. After learning the identity of this person, I told her the truth of some feelings I have been having about her and her boyfriend. This was mentioned in a previous post of mine. I think I called her Angelica, in that post. In any case. She called it quits... I can't say that I am in fact really surprised, except I am. I thought perhaps her, our friendship meant more to her than it obviously came out as.

It's something small and pretty much meaningless if you take into consideration, the fact of our friendship ending because of a boy. But what can you do, sometimes people are in your life for only a short period of time, others are in it for the long haul and others still remain a part of your life, indefinitely.

A few other things, somewhat related to friendship. When I was in Peterborough last, over a month ago now, I had a liking toward someone... his name, Jack*. I didn't know what to make of it, I still don't know what to make of it, but I know that I posted something on my facebook account. He responded and kept the conversation going with another one of my friends, who I don't really talk to anymore, other than on FB and I feel, while she fulfilled the purpose of clarifying his misunderstanding, I need to admit that I was jealous... I am still feeling some of that jealousy. Perhaps not really because of her, or him, but because of myself. I feel like he is ignoring me or, disregarding what it is I said... Who likes to be negated? Ignored? NO ONE!!!! everyone loves to be recognized and it feels like I'm going craZy trying to understand people and their actions. Maybe I am not meant to understand them at all. Instead, let it all go, hang loose and just BE. It feels like I am going to break soon, just crack in two with everything going on.

Today, I haven't talked to my sister, not even once. What do you make of that??? We live in the same house... what the fuck!

This is kind of how I feel.