It's annoying how you think you know me so well and think that you can read me so well too. Why is it that every time I have something on my mind you want to know exactly what that is and when it comes to me, finding out about things going on in your head, you won't let me in? That is fucked!!! I'm not going to apologize for saying that, because it is what it is. You think you know it all yourself. I don't say that because that's what you said about me today, but because it's the truth. Honestly you think that whenever I make the slightest scrunch of the nose, eyebrow raise, or  even the slightest lip pucker that you need to know the reason. YOU DON"T!

I understand that we're friends, funnily enough I thought friends were supposed to treat each other equally and have this mutual understanding of reciprocity. That's not exactly there with us...... You get away with a lot with me, and I, the same with you. But you saying that I am putting on an act, not being myself. BULLSHIT!!!! I know I should not let this affect me the way it is.... maybe it's because your influence in my life is fairly grand. I value what you think. Hell, I value what anything thinks, especially when it comes to thoughts about me (how self centered is that???). After all we both really believe in Horoscopes. Yet,  you making me feel like a fake and unreal person is not really worth it at all, not worth caring at all.

It just doesn't make sense to me, to sit there while you tell me what I don't want to hear, or say the wrong things.... I know people aren't always going to say the right things or the things you want to hear but it's too exhausting trying to fight. I should just let all my defenses down, let everyone else win, not say a single word, stay quiet, stay still, not move, not even breath, agree, agree, agree, not think, be motionless, be thoughtless, be silent..... Everything that I'm not!!!!