Okay I'm jealous of you. I thought those feelings were gone, but seems they keep on reappearing to teach me something. First of all, things seem to come fairly easily to you. That's fine, we each have a different life story. However, this is something that bothers me. Perhaps, because I am certain I could have things come to me easily too. It's all a part of my manifestation capabilities. Yet, when I see how much "fun" it is you're having, where it is you are, making money in doing something that currently resonates with you. I like to see you happy, I do. But and this one has been coming up to me in other relationships too, is that I would like to be happy FIRST and stay there.... this is competitive mind-body thinking and it can be controlled if I would like it to be. Sometimes I allow ("bad") thoughts to run wild and it's not exactly the smartest thing. I need to sit with these feelings a little bit.... I could say, "it feels like I'm stuck", "I'm struggling to align myself with things that sing to my heart and soul (this one is partially true, but more so I am able to do things in the realm of hobbies, nothing, as of yet to help sustain me in living in a city)", yet saying anyone of these things will make it become reality. After all, we create our reality and mine, is one that I'd prefer to have these feelings dealt with, in order to continue along my path.
If I look into this further I can ask why do I feel the need to compete against you. We are both on different plains. No comparison is necessary to begin at attempting to comprehend this. You are intellectual and while that is a tremendous gift, I live differently. I understand and accept these differences. My competitive nature has come forward quite a bit in my life and has launched me... probably... I'd like to say, ahead in many areas and aspects, but ultimately it has lead me here, in going deeper and delving into the root reason behind why I feel the need to compete against others... the reason, can be found in my childhood... I am aware I do this continually, although I try not to... and in truth, the only person I compete against daily, is the person I was yesterday.
So, while you are doing your own thing and I appreciate your contribution toward the world and how you are being of service, by planting trees. You are you, and I am me.
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