Everyone has that one person, or several people who they simply cannot stand.
There is a lesson in this relationship. Usually, we find flaws in others that reflect back onto aspects within ourselves that we have yet to accept and love. It is not always easy. In fact, it is rather challenging at times, to look at others, to see them and to feel we have this inner contempt, inner self deprecation that we are unable to place our finger on. It's down-right frustrating. I am in such a space right now.
So there is this girl that I met in the summer of last year. She vends in the warmer months in places around the city and falls into the Spiritual, Conscientious-elevated, Enlightened group of Earthlings that I actually like to consider myself. Although, instead of "elevated" I would call myself Spiritually, vibrationally, energetically AWARE and conscientious- "elevated" is a term that assumes, pedestal-like behaviour: righteousness, condescension, sometimes even complacency, which are traits that are far from Spiritual, in my opinion. They associate more with Ego.
Now, I understand that I am very much on a healing journey. This is something I am continually learning, growing, evolving from as a Soul and this is the main reason why I have felt it difficult to maintain this blog, because there is a line between privacy, and venting too much of yourself, over-sharing, exposure, vulnerability (the last two are good to a point). Yet, there is also a huge need in my life to have an outlet besides my own journal. Hence why I have selected to continue this blog, because it helps to share one's journey- my journey, even the tough times that feel like I am walking barefoot on rocky terrain.
Anyways back to this girl... so, a meditation would probably help me here. I have however already compiled a small list that will likely grow, for reasons I do not like her.
I stood in front of the mirror and talked to myself because, really it is something within me that I do not like... I then also later on, proceeded to take a nap with her name and subsequent questions I have about her, written on a piece of paper, under my pillow. Sometimes, that helps, to receive through Dreamtime.
Here is the list (not in any particular order):
1.) I don't like that you are tall- Does this mean I do not like my curvy body?
2.) I don't like that you have the money to travel, to go to Costa Rica, to go to England, to go anywhere else that you can afford to go and experience before me! - Does this mean I do not want to be here, living my beautiful, important life that I am living? Nope, not really. My initial response was I don't like where my life is right now, but when I think about it, I actually do like where I am. It is certainly different than where anyone else is going to be. After all it is MY path and mine alone. Personally, I would actually love, like LOVE to go and live and BE on the East Coast, yet what would I be doing there with my time? I wouldn't be established yet into the career I would like to be in and it's all about timing. Right now is not that time for me to be there.
3.) I don't like that you have a boyfriend and I don't! Hahaha, this one makes me laugh a bit because this is a desire of mine and I really do need to reflect on it more...It is only one of the first things that pop into my head when I see couples hand-in-hand walking down the street, or if I meet someone, like me I wonder if they are partnered. What is it about a partner I feel, will provide me with wholeness, happiness, stability... these things are all that which I need to find and Source from myself before looking and seeking them externally!
4.) I don't like that you make jewellery too and have Crystals and wicked beads as materials you have. The Stone People are my friends, of course this is something I am unable to keep to myself as they are in abundance and they exist to share their Medicine with all that are attracted to them! How do you treat them? This is something that arises as a question solely because Crystals come from Our Earth Mother and are BEings that like to be close to their original form. Leather and them don't mix. Perhaps this is my opinion, my Spiritual Beliefs and what it is they have conveyed to me. They might have shared something different with you
5.) I don't like that you have been doing this longer than me... Hahaha something I cannot change and quite frankly I wouldn't want to. You have your talents and I have mine, respectively. And my ideals, my creations are Naturally going to flow through me in a wholly unique way, than they would you. We each bring something individual to the table and we are both needed on this Earth. My passions are very different, I am sure than your passions, same with your inspiration and vice versa. Even though we are both Children of this Earth.
6.) I don't like that you have money.... this is something I really need to reclaim. I love money... I need to attract it into my experience. It is my friend after-all and money is needed to survive. The Universe is abundant and because we are all unique BEings with unique talents, gifts, Medicine there is plenty of that Universal abundance to go around. Creator will provide for us all, exactly what we need and exactly when we need it. Divine Perfection is written in the Stars... :)
Alright that is all I have to offer at this time.
I hope that me having written this will help me heal the wounds I kept open and I intention to invite abundance into my life and all that I need will flow to me, effortlessly and easily, like the rain flowing to the river. <3
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