Today was such a beautiful day. Whole and complete. I met some beautiful souls. Reconnected with some from my past and bought some things that spoke to my soul through my heart. Such beauty and grace and LOVE. mmmhmmmmm. breathe that in!
I liberated two Carnelian stones from the local crystal and stone healing place I usually go to find them. Such precious pieces. Carnelian is one of the HAPPY stones, and it is no wonder I have been drawn to it's energy the past week, the past few weeks have been incredible, with bad days of course, but for the most part... I have been unstoppable happy and incredibly joyous, for the simple reason that I can and thatThe Sugilite I have in the pouch of stones I carry with me daily, has been calling me for a reason.... hmmmmm. Breathe that in. Beautiful.
Saturday, 29 June 2013
Friday, 28 June 2013
This is what happened today....
Sometimes it's so hard.... Like today.
I was so looking forward to seeing Ted* and I didn't. I had a feeling I wouldn't though because well, I had a feeling. Murphy's Law, when you'd like/need something it's no where to be found, but when you would not like/ do not need it, it's available everywhere.
It's so hard, because I'd like to find a picture of him and just look at it, so I can see him. But, I'm not going to creep. I'm going to contain my curiosity about this Gorgeous human being for a little longer. Until I can get to know him IN PERSON, as it needs to be.
It's hard also, in trying to keep other peoples' judgements of you at bay, or to simply be carefree about them. Today, the only co-worker that knows I like and have a SUPER crush on a customer, made me almost feel badly for saying, "I was looking forward to seeing him". I caught myself though, why should I feel bad? two things.... ONE. I shouldn't do or feel any other way than what I do feel and that is.... attracted to this beautiful soul that has had my attention since the first day I laid my big beautiful brown eyes on him... even through my thinking I liked Daren*... Ted* has always been one I look forward to seeing. He is a regular customer, a cute, friendly, regular customer. My attraction toward him has increased.... Considerably. Anyways, back to the two things.... so I shouldn't do or feel any other way than I do. TWO. feelings are Important. They allow us outlets for self expression and self growth. They help us in releasing whatever it is that is going on inside us, so why waste such an expression on negativity, feeling badly? why not feel great? INCREDIBLE, JOYOUS. EXCITED, WILD. ENERGETIC. LOVE.
Even in me saying... "it's so hard".... Yes, life is challenging at times, sometimes frequently, more-so than we would like, but that is what totally makes it worthwhile in LIVING. The Satisfaction one gets in overcoming ALL challenges.
My horoscope for the day was so beautiful and after reading it prior to and after my day... Helps to put things in perspective for me....
Courtesy of Phil BoothStars. "As long as you don’t allow your feelings to sink into the quicksand of fear, your difficulties will serve you well by making you more determined and resolute. Mercury is planting the seeds of a plan in your mind. They will quickly grow and blossom into a process that will inspire you to go out and begin a new adventure."
I feel like I am veering on discouragement with Ted* because this past week I have only worked three shifts and have not been at the cafe, most days to see him. And I feel like I cannot function.... But according to my horoscope I need not fall into the barrels of fear quicksand. I will be the opposite of fearful... I will be BRAVE, PATIENT, COURAGEOUS. And I will be GENEROUSLY rewarded, effortlessly and easily from the UNIVERSE by what will ensue with Ted*. :)
Here are some other things...
I did happen to see one of my other regular customers who is taking a course in the Image Arts building and working on a filming project. I was so excited to see at least one of my favoured regulars that I charged her incorrectly.... I charged her less. Oops, it'll be our secret. But money is money and funnily enough I was thinking of a way to charge her less. It turned out to work, but technically it should be coming out of my pocket - There is that word again, should. Hmmm, I need to create a challenge for myself and not use that word, Should and it's sister, Could and brother, Would.
Oh and this one incident, hit me to the VERY core of my being.... There was this smoker that decided to put out his cigarette on a tree. A baby tree at that. On our University campus. HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!!! ANd I felt like Pheobe from friends when she asks that guy to apologize to the tree because I did this too. People think they can get away with the most cruel and senseless acts.... HA, Not on my watch. I was furious and I showed it. But hopefully the experience taught him to THINK before he acts.
Boom. I'm out. I'm going to find something to watch. And then hit the hay and dream about the Dream Boat Man, Ted*. That is a Beauty of an idea. :)
Bon Nuit.
* name altered
I was so looking forward to seeing Ted* and I didn't. I had a feeling I wouldn't though because well, I had a feeling. Murphy's Law, when you'd like/need something it's no where to be found, but when you would not like/ do not need it, it's available everywhere.
It's so hard, because I'd like to find a picture of him and just look at it, so I can see him. But, I'm not going to creep. I'm going to contain my curiosity about this Gorgeous human being for a little longer. Until I can get to know him IN PERSON, as it needs to be.
It's hard also, in trying to keep other peoples' judgements of you at bay, or to simply be carefree about them. Today, the only co-worker that knows I like and have a SUPER crush on a customer, made me almost feel badly for saying, "I was looking forward to seeing him". I caught myself though, why should I feel bad? two things.... ONE. I shouldn't do or feel any other way than what I do feel and that is.... attracted to this beautiful soul that has had my attention since the first day I laid my big beautiful brown eyes on him... even through my thinking I liked Daren*... Ted* has always been one I look forward to seeing. He is a regular customer, a cute, friendly, regular customer. My attraction toward him has increased.... Considerably. Anyways, back to the two things.... so I shouldn't do or feel any other way than I do. TWO. feelings are Important. They allow us outlets for self expression and self growth. They help us in releasing whatever it is that is going on inside us, so why waste such an expression on negativity, feeling badly? why not feel great? INCREDIBLE, JOYOUS. EXCITED, WILD. ENERGETIC. LOVE.
Even in me saying... "it's so hard".... Yes, life is challenging at times, sometimes frequently, more-so than we would like, but that is what totally makes it worthwhile in LIVING. The Satisfaction one gets in overcoming ALL challenges.
My horoscope for the day was so beautiful and after reading it prior to and after my day... Helps to put things in perspective for me....
Courtesy of Phil BoothStars. "As long as you don’t allow your feelings to sink into the quicksand of fear, your difficulties will serve you well by making you more determined and resolute. Mercury is planting the seeds of a plan in your mind. They will quickly grow and blossom into a process that will inspire you to go out and begin a new adventure."
I feel like I am veering on discouragement with Ted* because this past week I have only worked three shifts and have not been at the cafe, most days to see him. And I feel like I cannot function.... But according to my horoscope I need not fall into the barrels of fear quicksand. I will be the opposite of fearful... I will be BRAVE, PATIENT, COURAGEOUS. And I will be GENEROUSLY rewarded, effortlessly and easily from the UNIVERSE by what will ensue with Ted*. :)
Here are some other things...
I did happen to see one of my other regular customers who is taking a course in the Image Arts building and working on a filming project. I was so excited to see at least one of my favoured regulars that I charged her incorrectly.... I charged her less. Oops, it'll be our secret. But money is money and funnily enough I was thinking of a way to charge her less. It turned out to work, but technically it should be coming out of my pocket - There is that word again, should. Hmmm, I need to create a challenge for myself and not use that word, Should and it's sister, Could and brother, Would.
Oh and this one incident, hit me to the VERY core of my being.... There was this smoker that decided to put out his cigarette on a tree. A baby tree at that. On our University campus. HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!!! ANd I felt like Pheobe from friends when she asks that guy to apologize to the tree because I did this too. People think they can get away with the most cruel and senseless acts.... HA, Not on my watch. I was furious and I showed it. But hopefully the experience taught him to THINK before he acts.
Boom. I'm out. I'm going to find something to watch. And then hit the hay and dream about the Dream Boat Man, Ted*. That is a Beauty of an idea. :)
Bon Nuit.
* name altered
flight...
I am on a high right now I absolutely have so much energy, excitement, love, and happiness.
It feels like I can soar as high as Eagle and Hawk. :)
It's such an exhilarating feeling.
It feels like I can soar as high as Eagle and Hawk. :)
It's such an exhilarating feeling.
Thursday, 27 June 2013
so eXcitED, so veRY eXcitED!!!!
Back here after a couple hours... I feel absolutely exhilarated. My facebook status reads, "too eXcitED for TOO maNY thiNGs, I hoPe I will be able to sleep tonight!! " Breath that in. I am absolutely EXCITED for tomorrow because I get to see Ted*, finally give him a piece of chocolate I have saved for him in my bag for a few days. EXCITED... I am going to be calling my new boss after my shift tomorrow for my current job and talk to her about hours for this weekend. EXCITED!!!!! I am ordering a box on etsy that has a symbol on it, that my friend shared with me, meaning.... "all Universal energy direct here." EXCITED. I talked to my dad, like actually had a conversation with him today on the phone... it made me so ecstatically happy that I am speechless for words in how to describe my feelings.... EXCITED.
Everything is falling into place. Everything is as it should be. Life is absolutely so BEaUtiful.... Breath that in!
Also, and this comes back to the Ted* situation a little bit.... I found a personal ad on craigslist from a guy who is crushing on a girl and doesn't know what to do... here let me find it, and share it.... HERE it is
Secret Crush - m4w
I've have a crush on this wonderful girl going on for about 4 months now. I keep getting mixed signals from her when we are together and when we chat. I haven't fell so hard for a girl since I was in public school. It was always easy for me to talk and go out with pretty girls but there is just something in everything about her that makes me scared to make a move. I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't sleep properly, I worry about her, I feel like sharing things that go on in my life with her, and I just can't stop thinking about her. I want to take care of her, go on adventures with her, and eventually marry her. It must be love or I'm going insane.
I sent an email with my actual address saying the following...
"It is Love. Go for it.
This is your sign!!! :)"
And it felt incredible.... I take this as a sign for myself too, because this is my EXACT situation with Ted*.... Breath that in... Mhhhhmmmmmmm.
Here I am, sharing, sharing, sharing and so those are my things to be THANKFUL for and EXCITED about.... YES, yes, YES, YES, YES, YES!
Another thing... SIX. Six has been showing up in my life a lot lately. From my favourite quick reference site for symbols and signs, which are EVERYWHERE- we just have to find them, whats-your-sign.com...
Everything is falling into place. Everything is as it should be. Life is absolutely so BEaUtiful.... Breath that in!
Also, and this comes back to the Ted* situation a little bit.... I found a personal ad on craigslist from a guy who is crushing on a girl and doesn't know what to do... here let me find it, and share it.... HERE it is
Secret Crush - m4w
I sent an email with my actual address saying the following...
"It is Love. Go for it.
This is your sign!!! :)"
Here I am, sharing, sharing, sharing and so those are my things to be THANKFUL for and EXCITED about.... YES, yes, YES, YES, YES, YES!
Another thing... SIX. Six has been showing up in my life a lot lately. From my favourite quick reference site for symbols and signs, which are EVERYWHERE- we just have to find them, whats-your-sign.com...
| Six: The symbolism behind number Six is legend. With Venus as its ruler, Six represents harmony, balance, sincerity, LOVE and truth. Six naturally reveals solutions for us in a calm, unfolding manner. We invoke the Six when we need delicate diplomacy when dealing with sensitive matters. The spiritual meaning of number Six also deals with enlightenment; specifically "lighting" our path in areas we require spiritual and mental balance. Sixes beckon us to administer compassion and consciously choose forgiveness in a situation *name altered |
why?
Sometimes I feel I divulge too much of my life with you and you not the same with me.... It hurts. We are sisters we need to be close. And I get that you are still in the certain mental space that you are, which may or may not permit you to welcome me into your life, but patience..... some days it's really hard.....What I'd like to ask is why it takes so long? (for a lot of things, but for now) Why does it take so long for you to come back to the open sister that I know?
I know it's a long shot for having such a request- an expectation, especially since, you are working on not being so open, yet I am lost at trying to understand why it is okay for others to be open with their life, what they buy, what they do in a day and the same is not applied to you????
I love you sis, but sometimes I need to know that you are there to be the talking kindred spirit that I know you are. Yes, in this society we have been conditioned yet again and accustomed to people talking, talking and talking that when there is silence, it is deemed awkward, or unwelcomed. There is a time and a place though I feel and when it comes to relationships... aLL sORts, siblings, friends, lovers/partners, it is ALWAYS a two way street.
It seemed like when I was sharing my day with you and then asked how yours was you mentioned one thing and got up and left the room... somewhat leaving me out on a cliff, wondering if you were going to come back and share more, or if that was it... Looks like it was the latter and I just got left out on the cliff to pull myself back up like I usually do. Breath that in. Strength and Power.
____________________________________________________________________________
On an entirely new note.. Absolutely excited for tomorrow. two days off and I get to see Ted*. :)
* name changed
I know it's a long shot for having such a request- an expectation, especially since, you are working on not being so open, yet I am lost at trying to understand why it is okay for others to be open with their life, what they buy, what they do in a day and the same is not applied to you????
I love you sis, but sometimes I need to know that you are there to be the talking kindred spirit that I know you are. Yes, in this society we have been conditioned yet again and accustomed to people talking, talking and talking that when there is silence, it is deemed awkward, or unwelcomed. There is a time and a place though I feel and when it comes to relationships... aLL sORts, siblings, friends, lovers/partners, it is ALWAYS a two way street.
It seemed like when I was sharing my day with you and then asked how yours was you mentioned one thing and got up and left the room... somewhat leaving me out on a cliff, wondering if you were going to come back and share more, or if that was it... Looks like it was the latter and I just got left out on the cliff to pull myself back up like I usually do. Breath that in. Strength and Power.
____________________________________________________________________________
On an entirely new note.. Absolutely excited for tomorrow. two days off and I get to see Ted*. :)
* name changed
Monday, 24 June 2013
Ted*
Ted* is his name.... and he told me, after being first interested in learning my name.... "Teddy like the bear"**. what a perfect day to end the way..... woops, I'm mesmerized.... perfect day... perfect way to end the day. :) Smiling all the way home. Best customer ever!
* name altered
** phrase slightly different from the original one.
* name altered
** phrase slightly different from the original one.
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