I hate that I haven't had a really good time OUT, at night, in a while. I'm going to be 22 soon and I think it's unbelievably unfortunate that I feel I'm not living life to the fullest or the way I should..... I know I recently had this conversation with my mom and she told me there isn't one particular way to live life and that people, that appear to be so well kept and organized on the outside, they themselves don't even know what they're doing on the inside, or just generally, they simply do whatever needs to be done, get caught along the way and move past it. That is what life is anyway.

I don't know where I got caught in trying to understand this thing called life. It is one of the mysteries that are probably never meant to be understood at all. I don't like going out, it's as simple as that,  so why do I envy those that do..... when all they do is just go out drink more than their bodies can handle and have a good time while doing so and especially a good time in trying to piece back together the night they can't even remember in the first place. No, I'm not that type of person.... going out is too MUCH. Not that I wouldn't be able to handle it, but I think I'd just get sick of all the people there, criticize them for being too slutty, too obnoxious, too hammered, and too anything else that isn't really up to par with my standards, per se. That's no way to live life, judging people, or having a good time half assedly.  How can one even say that it is?