Okay, so I probably shouldn't say this (and so I will) but you make me nervous. Mostly because I do not know what the Universe has in store for us - if anything at all. You come into my life, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and I don't even know what to say about it, about you.
The girl you brought in to the cafe, today with you, "who is she?" I'd like to ask, rather my ego would, ..... Would anyone do that.... really? I didn't think they would, or at least most guys would know that it's a no-no, especially if you like someone who works at the cafe..... Unless you don't? Do you?
Agh, you make me think too much, I make myself think too much....."Quiet mind Natasza, quiet mind!"
Again, I think because I feel the great, almighty, unknown, beautifully mysterious Universe owes me, something, someONE that I think for a second the first guy to come into my life after a long while, is it. At least someone worth knowing. Somebody worth the Universe making our paths cross....There is a reason for everything after all. And I am so curious to find the answers.
Today and the other day, I could use excuses, like on Wednesday I felt sick to my stomach, ill, queazy, nauseous, and today I was in an entirely other mood, but you managed to throw me off with your friend. I didn't even get to say that I hope you have a good long weekend, go see the cherry blossoms in High Park. That's a nice way to spend some time.... Maybe even I'll go. Here I am getting off topic.
Anyways, then there is my mom, filling my head with doubt, not fear, simply doubt about you.... and her first impressions of what she could only hope to recall after remembering seeing you that first day, you came in and we spoke... Perhaps even shared a connection, at least a little attraction? Here's hoping....
Asked by her, a simple request. "What is it about him, my darling that makes you attracted to him?" Simple mom, the attention. I don't get it from others, anyone that I am half interested in anyways. So, it naturally occurs in me, when someone says something nice about me, compliments me. Makes me feel good, pretty, maybe even sexy.... But I know of course I do not need anyone to make me feel that way. I can make myself feel that way....AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS & SEXY. For I am all of these things and so much more, but it is also super cool to have others notice these special and obvious qualities I have. I am complete without anyone else but myself. ANd it is somewhat, almost, if not degrading how much we feel we need the other person to have ourselves be these things....On what level are these things on?
No comments:
Post a Comment