Friday 24 May 2013

There are just too many things....

Okay, so today was the day I finally saw YOU. You looked sad and all I really would have liked to do, was to finally ask, "how are you?" and genuinely mean it. But circumstances ensued that did not permit that. The day will soon come, when we will have a chat.

I just hope that I didn't ruin things before, with the way that conversation went that day....

If it's not already obvious enough... I like you. Or, I like the idea of liking someone that could be remotely interested in me- sounds sad actually? It's been a while since I really liked someone and I definitely look forward to Fridays. Because I figured out that Fridays seem to be the only days you come in, and you seem to come in at the time I start my shift, if I am closing. And if not, it is a BIG question mark of whether or not I will see you at all.

I hardly, if ever see you other days, and that day you walked in with a girl, possibly your coworker, is my first inclination... Things got awkward and tore my fantasy of you liking ME, into tiny pieces. It also made me realize that I do in fact care for you. Your presence makes me nervous and there are countless times, riding home on my bike for instance, like tonight where I think about potential conversations we would have if I wasn't so nervous, or sick, or oUT oF iT.  Then again a Virgoian thing is to be shy, and because I do not see you that often it's hard to tell if you are even interested. All we have is that fateful day you joined me outside and sat, I would like to think that meant something to you.... How do I know? I don't, all there are, are feelings and instincts and way too many other thoughts that I need to keep at bay and keep quiet.


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